Give it time

While I was in school I would spend hours writing in a diary that I would not let anyone read for the sole reason that it was like getting into my head. And then in March last year when I graduated from school I decided that I would not write a diary again. That was because while in school I would only write when something would hurt me and then I thought that college would be different and nothing would be bad enough to be written about. But you know what? There will always be things that go wrong because if they don't we will never learn and sometimes it will take really long for us to understand but one day we will. There will be this one moment where it will click into place and make perfect sense and until then all you can do is deal with it. And don't deal with it like it's bothering you but as though it's passing phase and that eventually everything turns into ash.

One day none of this will matter, it will all be one big memory that you will look back at and smile. It might hurt now and maybe even a few years down the line but one fine day there will be a moment so happy that it will overshadow all this. And thats when the whole situation will make sense. You will understand why any of it happened. I'm not saying that what you feel right now will go away, it will probably hurt more than you think but is it really in someone else's hands to cause you that. I know they say that only those who love you have the power to hurt you. But why? Why should someone love them enough to hurt them? Love someone enough to be the cure to their pain. Love them enough to keep them happy, to be the one person they turn to when all hell breaks loose. 

You've probably figured it out by now. I've always used this blog to convince myself of all the right things. The things that my mind says, the things that my heart doesn't want to accept. And I will never know which one to listen to, there will always be a part of me that will be in a state of confusion. I know some things aren't as bad as they look but someone told me that I seem to like to have complications in my life, and maybe I do. But thats okay, I don't mind that at all. It gives me something to write about. I know that we will never be free of problems but thats alright. We aren't meant to be because nothing is perfect and thats something that doesn't seem to have changed in a really long time.